C-O-N-N-E-C-T, Part 2

Everyone you meet today has shared similar experiences. They have laughed until milk came out of their nose. They have wept inconsolably over a grief from which they did not think they would ever recover, and yet somehow they did. Everyone you meet today has hugged someone they barely knew and they’ve forgotten to show love to the person who mattered most to them. They have probably passed gas at an inappropriate time, which of course made them laugh until milk came out of their nose. We all share a common humanity. Deep down, we are all the same. Our job then is to remember that we are all the same and to connect.

In my last blog post I proposed that there are three reasons we want to connect with one another:

1. Connecting adds value, not only for me but also for those to whom I connect.
2. Connecting is my job as a human being.
3. It’s all about love.

I already covered the first reason to connect: “Connecting Adds Value.” In this post, we’ll talk about the next point: “Connecting is my Job.”

Connecting is My Job

Do you ever think of the precarious nature of life, how fragile your life is? Any runner who has run along Wisconsin Highway 31 at 4:30 in the morning has thought about the fragile nature of life. Despite my blaze orange reflective vest, my Eddie Bauer hat with the LED lights, and the wide berth I give the oncoming traffic, it only takes one distracted driver and…that’s it. Lights out.

I used to think about death a lot. A LOT. Too much. When I was 15 I pulled my cousin aside and whispered earnestly in his ear, “I’m not going to live to see 16.”

He pulled back and looked at me with suspicion. “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know…I just have this feeling” I told him. What I was feeling was an unspecific feeling of anxiety, as if something dreadful were just about to happen. What I did not know at the time was that this feeling has a name. It’s called angst and every other 15 year-old in the world was feeling exactly the same way. I thought it was just me.

In November of that year, to my surprise, I turned 16. “Well,” I thought, “I made it to 16 but there’s NO WAY I’m making it to 18.” When I turned 18 I assumed I would not see 21. This went on until, on my 31^st birthday, I decided that it was too late to die young.

Still, every now and then, when I’m running close to a busy highway, or I get an unexplained discomfort in my chest, I think about the fragile nature of life. And it makes me wonder, “What is the reason for my life?”

Time to Connect

Every year I watch It’s a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart and every year I cry. When the people of Bedford Falls pour out to help George Bailey, he realizes he’s the richest man in town, and I sob. I can’t help it. Another year has gone by and I wonder how many lives I’ve touched. How have I connected with those around me?

I ask myself, what is the sum of my life? If I were to take account of your life right now, what would be meaningful? What am I most proud of? Is it my home? Of course not. Is it my car? Don’t be silly. My job? Not even close. So, what really matters? If my life is more than the sum of my possessions, then why am I here?

I find the answer in another Christmas story. I love the scene in A Christmas Carol where Ebenezer Scrooge is conversing with the ghost of Jacob Marley. When Scrooge tries to console his friend by complimenting him on his business skills, the ghost reacts sharply:

“'Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. 'Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!'”

What an interesting insight. As human beings, what is our job if it is not to connect with one another? We have a short time here on the earth. The only thing we will leave behind is the love that we give and the connections that we make.

So, here I am. I’m putting myself out to the universe. I’m being vulnerable and talking about things that maybe we all feel, but we don’t share with one another. I’m a corporate dude with a corporate title and a professional reputation to protect. If I were to let ego and fear block me, I would never do what I am meant to do here on earth. 

But I guess I'd rather be real than reputable. Or maybe there is a way to do both: have a good reputation and be real. And that is to recognize our shared humanity and to connect with those around me. So, I’m reaching out to connect. All I can ask is that you reach back.