C-O-N-N-E-C-T Part 1

Do you remember what your New Year’s resolution was? I do. But then again, I have an unfair advantage. It’s the same new year’s resolution I had last year, and the year before that, and yes, the year before that. My new year’s resolution is also very easy to remember, because it only consists of one simple word: “Connect.” My goal for 2010, as it was in 2009 and 2008 is to connect those around me in richer, more meaningful ways.

This goal might seem odd to my acquaintances. People generally find me to be reasonably friendly and outgoing. I can tell a good story. I laugh easily and I generally like people, but I tend to not connect very deeply. You might say that my friendships are a mile wide and an inch deep…until recently. Now, I’ve committed to more deeply connect with others.

There are a lot of reasons to connect with other people. I’ll focus on my top three reasons I want to connect with others.

1. Connecting adds value, not only for me but also for those to whom I connect.
2. Connecting is my job as a human being.
3. It’s all about love.

In the next few posts I will explore each of these reasons to connect with one another, starting with the value we derive from connecting with others.

Connecting adds Value

Here’s a question: If you were the only person on earth with a telephone, what would your telephone be worth? There would be no one else to call, right? So, the value of the telephone exists only in its ability to connect with other telephones. Metcalfe's law states that "the value of a telecommunications network is proportional to the square of the number of connected users of the system." Since there are billions of phones on the earth, the telephone is incredibly valuable.

Connecting with other human beings works the same way. The more we connect, the more we derive value from our network and, in turn, the more our network derives value from us. The value flows both ways.

In his amazing book The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell explores how knowledge is spread through a community. According to Gladwell, there are three types of people who are critical to “social epidemics.” He calls them Connectors, Mavens and Salesmen. I want to focus on that middle one, Mavens.

According to Gladwell, the word maven comes from Yiddish and means “one who collects knowledge.” The thing about mavens is, they don’t just want to collect knowledge, they want to share the knowledge they’ve collected. Typical maven behavior would be someone who runs across a great sale on sweaters at Kohl’s and then picks up the phone and calls you. Or a better example for our connected age is someone who runs across interesting articles on a favorite topic and then posts them to their Twitter status and Facebook page. Mavens don’t find learning alone to be fun. They want to share what they’ve learned.

One of my favorite mavens is Marcia Conner. I am connected to her on Facebook and I follow her on Twitter. If I have my TweetDeck turned on and I see Marcia’s face flash up on the screen, I stop what I’m doing to read. She rarely tweets about what she’s eating for lunch. Her posts add value to my life. Even if she is posting a quick note about the latest adventure of “Boywonder,” her nick name for her son Clarke, I’m sure to enjoy what she writes. By the way, Marcia has a new book coming out in May, The New Social Learning: A Guide to Transforming Organizations Through Social Media. I can’t wait to read it.

I want to make one more point about the value of connecting to others. Our friends are an extension of our neural networks. The human brain is a “meaning maker." The brain finds a pattern out of chaos. This is how we recognized a face or a pathway out of traffic...our brain is finding the pattern. One way the brain does this is by using mental models (also called paradigms). Our friends have similar mental models. I enjoy thinking and reading about training and education. I have friends with similar interests. They share what they learn with me. I also have an interest in distance running. My friends tell me about local races or training tips or other useful information. My friends find patterns in the overwhelming sea of information and bring the juicy morsels of meaningful data back to me. My social network helps me make meaning from the avalanche of information. By expanding my social network, I expand my neural network.

As I connect with others, I add value to them and they add value to me.

So, what about it? Are you ready to reach outside of yourself? Are you ready to put yourself out to the universe and see how it responds? You can start with a simple act. You can start by adding your comments below. Who knows, maybe you’ll connect with someone who will add value to your life. More importantly, the world is waiting for your voice. The world is waiting for you to connect.

Gretchen Rubin has created an ecosystem of happiness

With The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin has created more than a book: she has created an ecosystem of happiness. She spent a year blogging on happiness. Blog comments were incorporated into the book. The blog continues with rich insights about the truths that she learned. You can find her blog at http://happiness-project.com.

As if a book and a blog were not enough, Gretchen has generously created a tool set to help you apply The Happiness Project principles into your life. It can be found at http://happinessprojecttoolbox.com . There you can write your own set of happiness Resolutions or join with other people in a Group Resolution. You can write a list of Personal Commandments and share your Secrets of Adulthood. You can make your own lists (I recorded my bucket list) or share your insights through Happiness Hacks or the Inspiration Board. Even more fun than recording your own thoughts, you can read what others have written. If it is true that none of us is as smart as all of us, there is a lot to be learned from the other people who are sharing their journey at http://happinessprojecttoolbox.com.

I first learned of Gretchen Rubin when I heard her interview on NPR. After checking into her web site, I picked up the book and (as cliche as this may be to say) found myself unwilling to put it down. Gretchen is a great story teller. She makes you feel as if you are observing her life from inside of her family.

All in all, I would recommend The Happiness Project, not just for the wonderful story telling, or the amazing insights, but for the total happiness ecosystem that Gretchen has so generously created.